Tuesday, February 5, 2019

My "Non-Negotiables" for Online Dating

So....I never wanted to be here.  I married my high school sweetheart, and although marriage was hard, I wanted a happily ever after. I thought he would be the only man I'd ever love.

Sadly, after almost twenty-seven years of marriage, it ended; it was painful--the untethering of years of shared experiences and intimacy.  I'm now in my mid-40s, so I've literally been married almost my entire life-since my teenaged, shotgun wedding.

After my divorce this perfect guy fell out of the sky, and he taught me that I could love again, that life would go on, but sadly, we wanted different things, so here I am.  I consider him a friend and I'm thankful for him in many ways.

My kids suggested online dating after Mr. Wonderful and I broke up, and since where I work isn't conducive to meeting people, and I'm not someone who wants to bar-hop, I said, "Okay."  And, DANG.  I've learned a lot.

My non-negotiable list for online dating going forward:
  1. A prospect's profile picture must include his eyes (no mirrored sunglasses), and I have to see his hair/lack of hair (no all-hat pictures).  If the first picture is sunglasses and hat, and I'm on a dating platform that only let's me see one picture before I have to make a decision, I'm "swiping left."  The eyes are a window to the soul, and I'm just curious...do you have hair or not?
  2. If ANY of his pictures include a shirtless "selfie," I'm out, no matter how chiseled or attractive he may be in other pics.  He can bow up in the gym with a shirt on...that's fine, but no half-dressed selfies, please.
  3. I WILL reverse search his photo via Google.  If the picture isn't him or is suspect, he is gonna be blocked.  (Catfishing is wrong unless its in an actual pond.)
  4. If he asks me a question that makes me uncomfortable or is creepy, he is going to be blocked.  (If I have to go to Urban Dictionary to figure out what you're asking, I'm probably not your person.)
  5. If I'm honest about my character or beliefs and he says, "I bet I can change your mind," swiping left unless it is about something trivial.  
  6. If I think, "He's super cute if I could change just this one thing," I'm gonna pass.  Maybe he needs new glasses, or his Jimmy Neutron haircut is a bit too metro for me.  That's okay, but it's not my place to like someone if only he would fix X or Y or Z about himself.  (I wouldn't want someone to do that to me, so I won't do that to him.)
  7. Lastly, if I know him in the "real world" (professionally, personally, or casually), online dating isn't something we are gonna do.  Talk to me face to face.
Folks, I feel like I'm gonna be blogging for a LONG time; however, you're welcome to read about my "cautionary tales."  If I date someone who seems promising, I'm respecting his privacy as he requests it, and he will know in advance about this blog.  My life isn't an open book, but I wish I had a girlfriend who could tell me what she's experienced so far.

I'm not here to man bash.  I LOVE guys, and I'm thankful they aren't like women.  I'm just an average girl, a hopeless romantic who falls in love too easily and is looking for a happily-ever-after.  

Join me.  We will laugh, gasp, maybe cry, and cheer each other on during this wild adventure seeking a fairy tale ending.  :)

1 comment:

  1. If a Snapchat filter is used in his photo(s), swipe left! Good luck sister, you got an army standing behind you rooting for the best man to win!


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