Wednesday, March 13, 2019

Department Store Dating


I love a good department store.  I could live in Dillard's, and I know my way around each department, which entrance to use for where I need to go, and how to maximize my time and effort.  Trying to find a good guy on a dating site feels like shopping in a department store.

There are some guys who clearly belong in Sporting Goods.  They seem nice, but their world revolves around sports, and it seems that they want YOU to be their sporting side kick/high five person.  Don't get me wrong, I love going to sporting events and cheering for my favorite team(s) often, but it doesn't consume me.

There are guys who belong in Electronics.  They may be a bit nerdy but they write the most beautiful prose; however, from perusing their profiles it doesn't seem they get too far from their two-monitor set up or leave Call of Duty, Modern Warfare, or whatever the latest game is at the moment.  I liked a guy like this in the seventh grade.  His name was Todd and he was obsessed with Dungeons and Dragons.  Many a weekend I was left alone.  

There are guys who hang out in the Camping Section and have all the camo, fishing gear, and cast iron you could ever want.  They are BBQ Pitmasters and can cook up a storm.  They come with beer cans and coolers that stay cold for days.

There are men who feel most comfortable in Special Occasion Wear.  They know how to perfect a bowtie for their tuxedo and shiny shoes.  They love the opera, charity galas and could give a sommelier a run for his/her money.

There is the guy who feels most at home in the Denim Section.  Whether he is wearing Levis, Wranglers, or expensive brand jeans, he has many pairs.  Dark wash, light wash, faded, and work jeans.  Boots are optional.  He usually has a few pearl snaps, wants to take you dancing, and knows when to wear a felt hat at the season's change.

Some guys hangout at the Home Store.  They have all the kitchen gadgets and can prepare a gourmet dinner using their grandma's fine china.  They have a wine cellar and serve a glass of white at precisely the correct temperature and aerate a bottle of red before pouring.  

There are shoe guys.  They have all of the latest and their closets are dedicated to them, and these same guys have a knack about what looks good on a woman too.  

There are also the guys who are on the clearance rack.  They lament in their profiles that they've been passed over too often and are about to give up the online scene.

While I know how to shop in all of these sections, I'm still looking for the all-around nice guy area.  The guy who isn't perfect, but can easily walk in and out of each section.  Sometimes he is returning something.  Maybe he used to travel, but he's given that up because he has young kids.

Some guys openly admit they were too focused on their careers in their earlier relationships.  They are no longer shopping in the Suit Section.  They are instead focused on Vacation Wear for their next cruise or Mexican vacation.

Dating definitely feels like a shopping store.  What section will you meet your Happily Ever After?  Are you a bargain hunter trying to find a hidden treasure, or do you prefer to go straight for what you want and hope it looks right with you?  

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