Monday, March 18, 2019

The Dreaded Friend Zone

Swipe Fatigue.  It's a thing, and I have it.

Swipe, swipe, swipe.

No, no, no.

There just aren't enough "right guys."

Or, I'm picky,

or I have impossibly high standards or something.

Maybe I'm damaged?  Maybe I'm flawed? Maybe I'm too plain?  I don't know.

I've met a few real life people--coffee dates and the like.  Quick meetings where you "get to know each other."

All of these Meet-In-Person guys--heavily vetted--were kind and nice and seemingly perfect.

But they weren't the kind of guys I was going to get all "high school" about.  I didn't fall asleep dreaming about them, nor did they consume my thoughts in the morning.

A few weeks ago, I encountered two really cute couples.  One in their 20s and one in their late 30s. Both, embarrassingly admitted that they met on Tinder.

I guess the site is kinda known for "hookups."

In the same way I tell people all colleges are "party schools" if you make them that way, the same holds true for dating sites.

Since I'm keeping this blog PG, I can't post some of the things I've seen that are eye-bleach worthy or unread some of the "don't freak out if I ask you this" questions.

A few of my accountability girlfriends, when I send them screenshots, routinely say, "This cannot be true."

Alas, I think it is.

Well, I met someone on a site, Tinder in the interest of full-disclosure-honesty.

We haven't talked on the phone, but he was clearly open with his approach.

Friend Zone first.  No exceptions.

He over time explained the why.

It takes away the pressure, things won't end badly if it doesn't work out.  The worst?

You leave with a friend.

So, I've been "friend zoned," and I can tell you its a relief.  I have no idea if this friendship will develop into something more, right now out of sheer exhaustion and swipe fatigue, its a win either way. 

What I'm thankful for is that there are a few male pioneers, some revolutionaries who are bucking the current system, and proposing something new.  Men who have self control and don't ask you icky things.

They are friendly.  They exhibit self-control.

The latest guy?  We'll see if this approach works.

I'm calling him Friend Zone Guy or FZG for short.




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